he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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