He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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