Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
