The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
