I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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