Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
