It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
