Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
