return my video game
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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