Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
