operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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