Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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