I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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