i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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