I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
