Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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