highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am naked and annoyed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
