Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
