I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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