Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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