Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
