Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
