I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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