I wish I could teleport
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
