just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
