The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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