I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
