how can u be prego again
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
