Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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