Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
