You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
