dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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