i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
