I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Even my vagina gasped.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
