Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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