I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
