It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
