big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
