How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
