On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
