she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We're too hungover to prance.
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It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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