i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
