Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize