I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I got inside last night via doggy door
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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