I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
