hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
