I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
