If i come over, it means nothing
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
