Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
