all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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