I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
