remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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