Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
