We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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