Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize