She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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