so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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