how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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