did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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