Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
