Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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