Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
