Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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