i permit you to call me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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