i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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