i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
