It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
